Toronto night life

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Teaching English in Mexico: A Decent Living?

What's more dissatisfactory than a individual who do a promise he can't keep? A individual who do a promise that is a lie. Many promises to make a "decent living" instruction English Language in United Mexican States are just that—a lie.

If you do a phrase hunt on Google, "teach English in Mexico," you will acquire almost 900,000 hits. Some of these sites are filled with tantalizingly appealing phrases like,

"For lone a few dollars a hebdomad you can have_____in Mexico".

"First-class bus traveling to such as as and such a place is only____".

All are allurements trying to sell their how-to book, tapes, seminars, or placement service for instruction English Language abroad. They give the feeling that you will be able to do adequate money to dwell a life of extravagance and ease with all that money you will do instruction English Language in Mexico.

We've met many immature women who come up to Guanajuato with the hope and dreaming of getting a instruction occupation making a bundle. The word "shock" is putting it mildly when they happen out what their wages will be in some of these private schools. A good pay scale of measurement would be less than $3.00 an hour. I cognize of some schools that pay even less than that amount.

Can you conceive of how many hours you would have got to work to do ends meet? Minimum pay is about $400.00 USD a month. Granted, many Mexicans dwell on that. But could you—an American? Could you downscale to life on so little?

Four types who come up to United Mexican States to learn English are:

1) Someone who desires a new adventure—something different.

2) Someone who desires to construct a resume, no substance the

3) Someone who desires to gain a small traveling money.

4) Someone who believes they can gain a nice living. Groups 1 through 3 don't care what the dollar mark is in their salary. They have got other beginnings of income like nest egg or parents who assist support them while they are in Mexico. These are the most transient. Here today, promising their employers a twelvemonth contract, and gone tomorrow. Some employers will not engage these "floaters." Schools would love to engage those with neckties to the community but they are rare.

Group 4, people who believe they can do a living, do not accept the world that you can rarely make a life at instruction English Language in Mexico. They are like those who travel to Hollywood with the psychotic belief of becoming an actor, "Oh, it's a long shot, but maybe I can do it."

In an informal e-mail study I took of Mexican schools that offering ESL classes, the overpowering bulk agreed that it is rare for anyone to make a life at instruction English Language in Mexico. One called it "an unrealistic expectation" to believe otherwise.

"...the pay is very low and it is hard to conceive of how one
could dwell on it."

Another beginning told me that unless the instructor had signed a contract with a big constituted organisation before going to the country, it was improbable that a good wage would be waiting for them. Countries like Japanese Islands or People'S Republic Of China offering a competitory wage with benefits.

Mexico makes not.

Most of the available occupations are with small private schools that pay little.

Some told me that those who make not carry through their instruction committednesses no longer surprise them. They've grown accustomed to this unethical pattern by North Americans.

Some have got come up to United Mexican States and made a life instruction ESL. But, that is all they can do—work until they drop. They usually have got to subscribe on to learn with at least three schools to acquire adequate hours to gain adequate to pay for cost-of-living expenses. There is small time to anything else.

A life of luxury, excitement, and adventure? Hardly. But they maintain coming, filled with the psychotic belief that perhaps they can do it work.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe

My next-door neighbours establish a human os in their backyard. Let me rephrase. She believes she establish a human bone. They were putting up a fencing in their backyard. They’ve been excavation and shoveling and grading posts. I unloaded some boards to be a Mister-Rogers-kind-of-neighbor. And she was still talking about the human os she’d shown me the twenty-four hours before.

I was walking down the driveway, and she called me over to look at the bone. “Don’t you believe it's a human bone?” she asked.

I set my ft on it and rolled it around, inspecting each side. It’s about the size of a little child’s bone. I took my ft off it and said in jest, “You should name the authorities. State them you establish a human bone.”

We both stood over it, looking at it, concocting our ain beliefs about the bone.

“You really believe I should?” she asked. The whole scene had my neighbour talking in a high-pitched voice.

Now I’m not an expert on human bones. I’ve never put eyes on them. I saw a image of them the other nighttime on Despairing Housewives. Person cut that adult female up and set her in that trunk that floated to the top in some lake on the set of the show. So this was a first for me. Iodine could state it was a bone. Some sort of a bone.

If it were me, I’d pitch the thing in the trash. I wasn’t ready to name Cold Lawsuit and have got that blonde-headed biddy come up out to set us all under surveillance. Ask us twenty questions. “How long have got you lived adjacent door, Mr. Stofel?” Then she would look into my deadening life.

To prosecute something like this is to ask for too much play into your life. They’ll convey in a backhoe. Stopping Point off my driveway. Keep me from getting any work done with all the noise going on outside my window. It just do your backyard look like a graveyard. Then you acquire to distressing about the house. You’ll start hearing footfalls on the boards or a bosom beating beneath the floor boards like in that Edgar Allan Edgar Allen Poe short story, “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Remember the story? The storyteller kills the old adult male because his pale bluish eye, like a vulture’s eye, is driving him insane. Everywhere he turns there’s that eye, until finally he can’t take it anymore. He ins his manner into the old man’s room each nighttime until he finally jumps on the old adult male who shrieks. The storyteller throws the mattress over him. Suffocating him. Waiting for his last heartbeat. It happens. Then he dismembers him, like that organic structure in Despairing Housewives. He raises the three boards of the flooring of the chamber. The old adult male is gone. Elation.

Then a knocking upon the door. Three police officer base at his door. A awful scream coming from his house have been reported. But the storyteller fearfulnesses nothing. He’s performed the perfect crime. He throws unfastened the house. Slings his weaponry into every room. They are satisfied that it was indeed the storyteller yelling in his sleep. The police force pulling up chairs and chat.

At first it's exhilarating for the narrator. He's getting away with murder. Then it acquires old. They will not travel away. And it isn’t because they are suspicious. They're not. Just tired. Just experience like talking. But this is when the bosom gets to beat beneath the three planks, up under the three policeman’s feet. But they cannot hear it, only the storyteller hears the sound of the bosom beating from beneath the three planks. He starts talking in a crazy, idiotic way—his voice stretch crescendos. But the bosom beats above the sound of his voice. Louder and louder. Until the adult male cannot base it any longer. And he draws up the boards and uncovers the old man’s corpse.

The storyteller shrieks, “Villains! dissemble no more! I acknowledge the deed!—tear up the planks! here, here!—It is the beating of his horrid heart!”

Maybe I’m taking my neighbor’s archeological excavation too far. But it got me to thinking about Edgar Allan Edgar Allen Poe and that zany story, and about how it bleeds into my story. I’m that way. Everything bleeds into a story for me. We are stories. You and I. Stories.

So, as I said, it got me to thinking about my ain heart. How it was hidden beneath the floor, inside this tegument and castanets that the Apostle Alice Paul names “the old man.” That old iniquitous nature inside.

I thought about how my bosom was the first thing to react to Supreme Being on that twenty-four hours in a 1,000-member church. And the wild thing is—the revivalist speaking that day—he heard my heart. It must have got been beating in his ears the manner the bosom beat in the ears of Poe’s narrator.

Louder and louder it thumped, as if a low-rider was sitting at the reddish visible light at the corner with the bass thumping against the moment. It beat in his ears until he couldn’t base it anymore, and the revivalist shrieked, “Someone here; your bosom is about to beat out of your chest. You necessitate to acquire up and come up down here to the communion table and give your beating bosom to Christ.” Iodine can retrieve his words like a mantra, even after twenty-three years. Word for word. True story.

And it freaked me out. I was new to all of this Christian church stuff. I went to Christian church as a little child, but I can’t state you anything about it. I can’t retrieve much before I was ten. But I can retrieve what that adult male said to me at the age of eighteen.

I could associate to him somewhere deep interior my soul, underneath the three boards of the chamber. My bosom beat. It pounded. Louder and louder. So I jumped up, went down to the altar, and shrieked, “I am the 1 with the beating heart. Me, this heart. It beats. I did it.”

Of course, we are all guilty. We killed the most cherished thing. The One thing. The One bosom that took its last beat here, only to come up back and beat inside everyone who listens. Louder and louder. And with each beat a new beginning for some mediocre psyche whose bosom have taken its last beat here, only to arrant his first ageless hello there.

● ● ●

My married woman told me Bonnie buried the os a couple of hebdomads ago. Put it back in the land behind her house. I figured that was the end of it. Then Spike Lee called this hebdomad and said, “Go to your backdoor, Bonnie have something for you.”

So I did as told. I went to the backdoor and Bonnie was walking across the private road we share. She had a handbasket with something inside. I could see right off that supper was mine. I even grinned. I just happened to be starving at the moment.

And she held out this handbasket with a good ole’ southern smiling and said, “We had some other barbecue ribs. It’s Lee’s secret recipe.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! This volition be a feast. Thank you.”

She smiled and turned to traverse the driveway. And man, were they good! Succulent. I’d eat them every nighttime of the hebdomad and decease of case-hardened arteries. I wouldn’t care. I was so excited about receiving them that I even thought about becoming a Bo Bice fan.

Then I got to thinking about that os she establish in her backyard, the os I was telling you about a couple of hebdomads ago. Well, I got to thinking maybe they’d cooked up some secret formula all right. Secret meat that used to be on that os she found. You cognize it happened in that movie, Fried Green Tomatoes. They killed that man, chopped him up, made barbeque out of him, and Federal him to that Empire State Of The South detective, who told Big Saint George that it was the best barbecue he’d ever eaten, and asked him what his secret was. And Big Saint George smiled and said, “Thank you, suh, I’d have got to state the secret’s inch the sauce.”

And I was thinking, I trust they aren’t eating me a dead person.

The neighbours even establish a grave marker in the backyard to travel along with the bone. No lie. First came the bone, and then this grave marker appeared. This is where they said the os must’ve come up from. Said it may have got been a soldier in the Civil War. They had my attention. It was some sort of achromatic stone with a unsmooth texture. It had three initials on it—W.C.P. Iodine cognize because she had it leaning against the dorsum of her house and called me over to look at it. Sure enough, it was a grave marker. And certain enough, it could be a Confederate soldier. General Hood, the Confederate full general and full-time sot, took his work force across the Volunteer State River near Decatur on his manner to acquire all those male children killed in the Battle of Franklin. So it could be a Civil War man. Oregon it could be they are setting me up. Making me believe it was a Civil War man.

They could’ve bought that sedate marker at a pace sale. She’s large into pace gross sales anyway. She bought a butcher’s block at a pace sale today. I saw her tugging on it, trying to acquire it out of the dorsum of her truck. I just happened to be walking out the backdoor. I curse I don’t spy. Iodine ain’t A nosy neighbor, but like I said, she was trying to raise it out of the truck, and when I asked her if she needed aid she said, “Naw, I got it.” Then she said, “It’s A butcher’s block. Iodine bought it at a pace sale for $3.00.”

I was thinking, That’s Associate in Nursing atrocious large butcher’s block. She had both hands absorbing it and she was straining a spot to transport it in the backdoor. I was also thinking, What’s she going to cut up? A whole cow? Then I remembered the os and sedate marker. It was all approaching together. She’s Jeffery Dahmer’s sister or something. I pictured her in her kitchen with a detached arm on that butcher’s block. Freezer bags to the left of her and a knife in one hand, while the other manus on that arm’s hand. Then I remembered the ribs. I figured I’d just eaten person the other nighttime while I watched my NASCAR race. Maybe that’s why, when Iodine told them how good they were, she said, “Really?”

I said, “Oh, yeah. Best ribs I’ve ever sunk my dentition into.”

She said it again with this amusing expression on her face, she said, “Really? Well, its Lee’s secret recipe.”

(Yeah, right.)

Now I’m not accusing anybody of anything. But I state you what, if I catch her toting a organic structure bag in through the backdoor, I’m gonna travel over there and state her to allow me cognize when the ribs are ready. I’m like that Empire State Of The South investigator in that Fried Green Tomatoes movie—that was the best barbeque ribs I’ve ever eaten, and I’ll eat’em again. I don’t attention whose ribs they are. They some good feeding as long as Spike Lee can maintain his secret.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked unfastened the fortune cooky and read the small faux pas of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather condition forecaster.

"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pinkish polka-dot octopus..."

It continued on the other side: "... and asked to supply inside information of your application for a yellowish cloud mulching permit."

Two things struck me about this peculiar fortune. The first is that they have got come up a long manner in their ability to foretell exactly what will go on and when, just like weather condition forecasters. This is undoubtedly owed to recent technological developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology. Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialised Fields have got been developed to points of preciseness unimagined just a coevals ago.

And it's not just the weather condition forecasters.

In London, Ontario, specializers are performing microscopical cardiac surgery on patients statute miles away using a automaton named CSTAR (Can't you just wait for new parents to start naming their children after the celebrated surgeon, CSTAR?). This have got opened up the door to many benefits, such as as sending automatons to distant locations without having to worry about a operating operating surgeon replacing the incorrect variety meat owed to jet plane lag.

But the existent benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in me: "You cognize the world is a better place when we don't have to chaparral our hands before surgery anymore."

I can name anybody in North United States on the telephone set and they will reply in existent time. Not only is this a better response than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone set set cablegrams direct my phone call to the exact individual I want, saving the other 400 million telephone endorsers the incommodiousness of having to say, "Wrong number...again!" Just a few decennaries ago, Switchboard Suzie was manually connecting everybody.

"Janice Land? No problem. I'll link you." CLICK.

"No, wait. I wanted to talk to Janet Lam. Hello?"

My male parent can nail the exact amount of blood refined sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much refined sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes engineering have come up a long way, allowing us to direct and received very specific information in great item and in great volumes, allowing such as electrifying 21st century inventions as Spam (I know, I know, the great Spam pioneers you admire most did their epic works in the 20th century, but you ain't seen nil yet!)

Despite the volume of information I have in my inbox, there is one very distressing component to all this other free information, which conveys me back to the 2nd thing that struck me about my fortune cooky message.

It was wrong.

I waited all twenty-four hours for that pinkish polka-dot octopus to near me, and it never did. Just because modern engineering can present immense volumes of laser-detailed information, makes not do that information valuable or even accurate.

Which conveys me back to the disclosure that a weather condition predictor is now writing fortune cookies. Weather prognoses have got go increasingly more than precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town just west of here.

Once upon a time, the prognosis would be simply "Sun and hail expected to go through through the region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should engage CSTAR to do the fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would present fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry dough chefs won't have got got to chaparral their hands before baking.

And I wouldn't have to wait for a pinkish polka-dot octopus all afternoon.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, “The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as “Show-biz,” don’t you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I’m not talking about the theatre or TV. I’m talking about the “Restaurant-biz.” Servers, bartenders, hostesses, and restaurateurs act on a daily business. Their performance is crucial! Every movement, every word, every bite is an integral part of the restaurant-goers experience, and any one of these parts, if it isn’t just right, could lead to the restaurant-goer, well, going.

Many a restaurant owner has held their breath as they flipped to the local restaurant critic’s (probably some pompous, pretentious old windbag), page to see what he or she has to say about their establishment. This write-up has the power to make or break a restaurant, especially a privately owned one. Unfortunately the only critiques a server gets to give are given behind a kitchen door, in a server station, or over a beer (or several) at the end of a shift. Well, the restaurant critic has held the pen too long! The time has come for the server to speak up and critique the customer for a change!

I, as a former member of the exclusive club known as the Restaurant Industry, am about to attempt a categorization of several different types of patrons. This will be the first installment of a series I like to call, “The Restaurant Chronicles.” In this, Part 1, I will begin a labeling process which will hopefully serve as both comic relief for others in our distinguished field, and also to illuminate those who may unknowingly belong to one (or more) of the following groups. Let’s see, where should we begin?

The Chatty-Cathy: This breed of customer is more interested in gabbing and/or gossiping with friends or colleagues than ordering or eating food. She or he is content to have the server stand and wait while finishing the conversation. This customer will ignore the server every time they come back and ask whether a refill or some other service is needed. If the server has to repeatedly ask the question, this customer will often flash a dirty look or make a snide comment.

The Cell Phone Addict: This lonely soul cannot seem to put their cell phone down long enough to even order. They insist on pointing to items on the menu and requiring their server to guess at their order instead of simply putting their phone down and speaking.

The Sally: If you’ve seen the movie When Harry met Sally, you have seen a frighteningly realistic example of the high-maintenance guest. This person says thing like, “I’ll have this roast turkey sandwich, except can I get it with mustard instead of mayonnaise? Actually can I have a little bit of both on the side, and, uh, no tomatoes? Do you have rye bread? Could you have them toast it? And could I have a mixed green salad instead of the pasta salad, but with ranch…I don’t like that vinaigrette you guys use. Do you think I could get a coke instead of this tea? It tastes funny.” Although they speak in sentences that sound like questions, an experienced server recognizes them for what they truly are, demands.

The Dummy: This simple creature somehow manages to find their way to the restaurant, although it’s hard to imagine how. They come in through a door directly below a giant neon sign, flashing the word “OPEN,” and ask, with a blank look on their face, “Are you guys open?” The menu may have the word, in huge letters, BREAKFAST on the cover, and they will ask, “Are you guys serving breakfast?” This client teaches their server the art of patience, because it is nearly impossible not to reply sarcastically to such moronic questions.

The Merry Mommy Club: This group of lovely ladies and their lovely children is always a treat, if your idea of a treat is hurdling small children, while at the same time, maneuvering large heavy trays of hot food and liquids without losing your balance, as they run under your feet. This species of diner loves to sit for hours and hours chatting, as they consume only small side dishes of food and sip away gallons of decaffeinated coffee, or every server’s favorite, hot tea! They squeak in babynese, and compete in the “My baby can do this…” game. They also are notorious for their lack of observational skills, as their older children compete in creating a virtual “Obstacle Course” for servers and other guests by climbing on top of tables, running behind the counter, and other various activities.

Well, that concludes Part 1 of the Restaurant Chronicles, but fear not, my wonderful readers! I plan to continue my exploration of this fascinating creature, known as the diner, in Part 2. So please come back and learn more about this interesting, exciting, and often times, just plain weird business, we Restaurant folk affectionately refer to as, well…our job.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Stun Gun Cat Food Robotic Shocker

Does you neighbours true cats conveniently come up to your house for an other meal, stealing your ain cat’s food? Damn those vicinity true cats anyway. It bes a batch to purchase true cat nutrient and Supreme Being cognizes you make not necessitate to be purchasing nutrient for all the vicinity true cats too, especially with your strapped budget with these Hideous Fuel Prices. Three dollars a gallon; bury you me!

If the neighbours true cats eat $5.00 per hebdomad of your “Fluffy’s Food” that is a cost of over $260.00 per year. You could speak to your neighbours about this job and state them to mind their ain cat. But everyone cognizes true cats make not listen, they basically ain the place and believe they are entitled to follow lawsuit like the New Orleans Looters after the Hurricane Katrina? If you had a true cat TV, well they would probably walk off with that too. To forestall vicinity robbery true cats from your house, you necessitate RoboCat with the AttackCat Sun Gun option, not adequate to kill the neighbours cat, as it is born of DARPA non-lethal technology for Department of Fatherland Security violent protestor crowd control and police force use. But this engineering will let the thievish vicinity true cat cognize whose pace they are in and believe you me, they will not be wondering back in anytime soon.

This is just one manner that robotics can assist your budget and allow you more than freedom, a higher criterion of life and a greater quality of life. Think about it.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Travel and Scenic Photography 101

When you're driving through the mounts somewhere, and you detect a auto parked half off the route and some cat leaning to the left to avoid a subdivision with his Johnny Reb 2000 photographic camera in the enactment of focusing, you've met me. Iodine make this because, to me, a trip isn't fulfilling unless I've preserved that beauty for posterity. I'd wish to share some of the techniques that do scenic picture taking such as a fantastic artform - simple, yet elegant.

First off, equipment. As much as the cheapo disposable photographic camera beckons, acquire real. These photographic cameras have got fisheye lenses which I name "spam" lenses. They cram everything in, with equal indistinctness and boringness. Good photographs are sharp, unless you utilize film over for artistic effect. Sharp come ups from an adjustable lens. It can be a fixed lens system or a zoom, but it must concentrate specially for each picture. Fixed lenses are limiting for scenic pictures, where to frame in the shot you may necessitate to travel long distances. Imagine using a fixed lens system on the American Capital Monument, when you're half a block away! Zooms acquire my vote, even though they often don't have got as broad an aperture, which restricts their capablenesses in low visible light situations.  

Practically speaking, an SLR is the absolute best. They are lightweight, and can be used with top quality lenses. Movie SLRs be given to be less expensive, but have got got the restrictions of film, meaning you have to  get it developed and so forth. Digital SLRs are VERY expensive, so for the budget conscious either travel with a movie SLR or a high quality basic digital camera. With digital, declaration is also a critical factor, so look at the spectacles before you buy.

OK, we've got the camera, emotions are running high, and that's great, but not too great! Sometimes I happen a topographic point that is so wonderful, I start shooting like a madman, only to be disappointed by the pictures. What happened? Emotions. When you undergo a place, there are sounds, olfactory properties and zephyrs as well as the visuals of the spot. Gratuitous to say, you can't exposure all of these elements, only the visual. When flooded by the spectacle of a scenic hotspot, we are often flooded by all of these elements.

So what to do? Look through your camera. The view finder makes not lie (usually). Try to see what you are looking at as the finished picture. Most people perfunctorily take pictures, hoping that somehow the shot will come up out great. If you inquire how the images came out when you are on the manner to the drug shop to acquire them, you're doing something wrong. At the minute you chink the pic, you should cognize exactly what you will get. (Of course with digital, that's not a trick!).  

Now, I was a shade dishonest in saying that you can't capture all of the elements of a scene. You can suggest at them. For starters, motion. Yes, even in a still picture, there is motion. Something happened before, during and after your picture. In a mountain view scene, you may happen something that intimations at motion, whether it be a subdivision of a tree that have been swaying in the breeze, or a river flowing through the vale below. These add a sense of motion.  

Then there's the "rule of thirds." When you place the chief physical object of the image smack-dab inch the middle, it is unchanging and boring. Place it one 3rd of the manner from either side, and you IMPLY motion. Put the apparent horizon in a landscape photograph a 3rd of the manner up or down, not across the middle.

Remember, when a individual looks at a picture, their eyes move. You desire to frame in your photograph to assist that movement. If you can happen some lines in the scene, such as as a skyline, cloud formation, way through the forest, etcetera, usage it interestingly, and with the rule of one-thirds to pull your viewer's eyes into the picture.

Avoid "summit syndrome." You acquire to the top of Saddle Horse American Capital and shoot the majestic vista. Great. The images come up out ... boring! How? No PERSPECTIVE. Big views will be level unless you have got an physical object in the foreground, such as as a stone or a tree, to give them perspective. Then the oculus really appreciations how large this scene is. People enjoying the position is a existent winner, because the spectator may place with their emotions, giving the mental image existent impact.

Cheese! Yes, you make have got to take the household photos. It's obligatory. But when you do, do certain that they demo the location of the photo. Otherwise, you might as well make it on your driveway. Framework the scene in context, with landmarks as portion of the picture. Find a manner to state as story in the picture, such as as small Sara climbing up the stones by the waterfall.

Finally, any component in the image that intimations at more than senses than just the ocular volition do it  remarkable. Actor headshots for example, state a story about the subject. You can almost hear them saying their adjacent lines. If you exposure a garden, the spectator may undergo the olfactory property of the flowers. A tourist street with an piano accordion player on the corner may have got your astonied friends   whistle "Dixie."

In summation, image taking on traveling is recording the experience in a appreciated way. Use motion, perspective, sensory, storytelling and so forth, to convey your photographs to life. Oh, and needless to say, do your occupation easy and travel to great places! See you at the overlook!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies.

Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness. Spend some time really infusing the essence of your feelings about this person into your creation.

Then, take your time and enjoy demolishing this representative receptacle of remediation, focusing on enjoying the flavor and texture of the item as well as the act of "reducing and compressing" the presence of the person in your life. Spend the next few days meditating on how this person is symbolically working their way through your system, giving up to your body and soul any beneficial qualities they may possess while at the same time being quite literally dissolved and pummeled into oblivion by your internal protective and nurturing organs. Your body knows exactly what it needs and what it should "spit out" - let it do the work.

Finally, a day or so later, spend about 15 minutes in your special "meditation cubby" sitting on your marble meditation stool contemplating the final demise of said person and all related icky-ness. Aaaahhhhh! Doesn't that feel better?

Repeat as needed!