Toronto night life

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Food Pyramid

Just a few calories ago, the authorities revised the nutrient pyramid. You can see it at
It have a snazzy new logotype with a stick figure dashing up the Steps To a Healthier You on the side of the pyramid. It’s supposed to be in better melody with our complicated modern life, the up-to-the-minute Scientific Thought, and reflect a custom-made pyramid which better suits our lifestyle, not that there’s anything incorrect with that. They have got an animation, a mini-poster for the art-impaired, and, “a wealthiness of thoughts to assist you acquire started to a healthier diet.”

In better melody – with modern life? Then why a pyramid? Isn’t that Egypto-elitist? Doesn’t that perhaps reflect a suspect cash extract from the traveling industry? How many people will EVER run up a pyramid? And if they do, why aren’t they carrying a six battalion of bottled water? “Water, the Almost Food.” Because the H2O anteroom is weak, that’s why.

See, that’s what’s incorrect with authorities – no large thinkers. All around us we see sellouts and commercialization: Merchandise placement; Endorsements; Co-promotions; Synergism! But makes the authorities see this? Noooo. Instead of cribbing money from this or that entitlement program, why not some good old entrepreneurship in our leadership! What make you believe McDonalds would pay to have got that stickfigure run up the GOLDEN ARCHES?

But I inquire if the Department of Food thought this through? There could be a stickfigure of a ma in a stick minivan (note: sell avant garde logo) or a cat carrying a laptop computing machine (note: sell computer logo) racing to catch a railroad train (note: place Amtrak logo), while talking on his cellphone (note: sell cellphone logo). Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? think of the monetisation possibilities which could all travel to reducing the budget deficit!

And while we are free-thinking here, why not travel wild and sell advertisement space on the one, five and 10 dollar bill? Some tribunal is going to hit down In Supreme Being We Trust anyway. Consider: “Reach Out and Touch Person – AT&T.” Wouldn’t they pay a billion for umpteen gazillion impressions? And here’s the best portion – those measures have got a limited lifetime. The exchequer is ALWAYS taking old worn out 1s out of the supply and printing new ones. How many OTHER advertizers would wait in LINE? What make you believe Target would pay to replace that odd oculus and trigon with the Target logotype bullseye? And why show an old edifice on the rear of the $10? Why not demo the up-to-the-minute Las Vegas resort? Keep the Eagle. What make you believe PETSMART would pay for a small banner?

But back to the Food Pyramid. Why not monetize “calories”? What would McDonalds pay to change the word to “McNutrients?”

Of course, we’d demand an Office of Promotional Tie-In. I believe $500,000,000 would acquire it kick started. Hey, why make we necessitate zeros? They could just as well be bantam Target logos.


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